Silent Academic Pressure: The weights we don’t talk about and how I’m coping with it.
You know that feeling of feeling everything and nothing at once? There are just days when you can’t even name how you feel, everything seems fine on the outside, you are just caught up in between the fog of truly living and actually existing.
You’re smiling, showing up to class, turning in assignments, maybe even cracking jokes with your friends but deep down, you just feel… tired? Not the regular kind of tired. The kind that sits quietly in your chest. You can’t quite explain it, but you keep going anyway because, well, you have to.
That, for me, is what I call silent pressure.
It’s that unspoken weight that comes with trying to balance everything school, deadlines, expectations, life, all while pretending you’ve got it together. The pressure sits with you through lectures, through study hours, and even when you’re trying to sleep. It just hunts..
Academic pressure refers to the stress students experience while striving to perform well in school. In Nigeria, this pressure typically comes from parents, teachers, religious leaders, and society at large. Often, the most intense pressure originates from within. In a culture that celebrates straight-A students, first-class graduates, and high scorers in the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) exams, the desire to meet these expectations can become overwhelming really.
According to a 2023 study by Nigeria’s National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), over 37% of students aged 13 to 19 reported high levels of academic stress, particularly those preparing for WAEC, NECO, or JAMB.
“The Weight we don’t talk about
When I first got into the university, I came in with so much excitement. It was like a dream come true. I finally got into law a course I had always admired, and prayed for ever since I got into the arts department. I remember thinking, “This is it. I’m ready to make the most of it.”
But honestly, I don’t think I was the only one who felt that way. Every new student whether studying law, medicine, or any other course walks into campus with that same rush of excitement and awe. It’s that feeling of a fresh start, of possibility. You want to do your best, make your family proud, and just be someone. It’s just you and feeling of ” I’ve got to make mama proud”
We all come in with hope maybe a little fear too but mostly that belief that if we just stay focused and work hard, everything will fall into place.
But with time, I realized something: nobody really prepares you for the emotional weight that comes with being in school especially in a demanding course like law. It applies for every other course as long as one’s in a Nigerian university studying even wood science (if there’s is) it takes a whole lot of having to meet up with one thing or another.
Indeed, no one really talks about what happens after the excitement fades when the assignments start piling up, the nights get longer, and the weight of expectations begins to settle in.
For someone like me, it’s the anxiety of trying to balance so much all at once a stack of PDFs waiting to be read, notes to catch up on, projects, assignments, tests, and exams. Then there are extracurricular and academic programs, other courses that never seem to pause, church activities, leadership commitments and believe me, all of it comes with a whole lot of demands year after year. There’s always something due, always a new deadline waiting to be chased. Sometimes it feels like I’m constantly trying to catch up with time itself, and my dear, it’s a whole lot. For 99 others it them having to juggle their academics, with having a business and many a times it’s their means of survival and what carries them through school or it just their extra source of income, religious activities, leadership positions, commitment and a whole lot. Always having something to meet up with here and there.
The Weight We Don’t Speak About
There’s the kind of pressure that doesn’t shout it whispers. It’s quiet but consistent. It shows up every time you tell yourself, “I can’t rest yet. I still have a lot to do.”
You feel it when you wake up earlier than usual to revise before class, or when you sleep late because you’re trying to catch up on a topic you barely understood.
Then there’s the one that comes from being around others. You know that moment when you’re in the same room with someone who’s always reading flipping pages, highlighting lines, typing notes? And you, for once, just want to rest, maybe scroll through your phone or take a nap, but then guilt hits you: “What am I doing with my life?”
That’s silent pressure too. It’s subtle but real.
And then, when exams come around, it heightens. You want to rest, but you dare not. You tell yourself, “Just one more page,” “Just one more case,” until you realize your body’s begging for a break. It is the peak of it when you set alarms to perhaps wake you up and you awake far before it rings that’s if you even slept at all . You sleep and you dream of being in the exam hall.The truth?is you’re not lazy. You’re just tired. That makes you completely human. I have come to understanding this fact too “I am just a girl”
Let’s not even talk about the kind of pressure that comes from our friends yes our friends. Some of them look up to you even more than you realize. For me having friends that believe so much in me it’s always their conclusion “oh that course I know you will ace it or you already aced it common girl” but there I am tired inside. They ask how your exams honestly went or they even check your results before you do. Sincerely not out of competition, but out of expectation. And even that can weigh on you. The whole thought of that makes you think already ” I must not fail” I don’t want so and so to look at me this way or that way” my dear….most times it’s sincerely their belief in you and trust me we all need that one or two persons that really believe in us,no matter how justifiable it is it hunts.
But over time, I’ve learned and I’m still learning that you don’t have to drown under that pressure. You can manage it. You can breathe through it. Just breathe. Here are a few things that have been helping me cope am going to summarise it into 5 basics steps.
1. Learn to Take Breaks
Listen, taking breaks doesn’t make you unserious. I learnt this and overtime I push myself to do this. It actually helps your brain breathe. Sometimes, you just need to pause step away from that PDF, stretch a little, or watch something light. It doesn’t have to be a lot. You’ll come back sharper. I’ve realized that pushing non-stop doesn’t make you stronger; it only drains you faster and you just wallow in having So much to do and doing nothing. So, please, rest when you need to. You can’t pour from an empty cup, my dear.
2. Set Realistic Goals
You don’t have to finish everything in one day. Break things down. One topic at a time, one note at a time. Like the popular saying ” little drop of water makes a mighty ocean’ . I have learnt overtime to relieve myself I make a list of all I have to do sort of “to do list” okay by this semester I should have done this or that. I have learnt that its important to make your goals measurable, realistic and time bound. As much as it’s time bound don’t give yourself much pressure as far as you’re not procrastinating it ,it will surely come to pass. ” As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” Setting smaller goals helps you and it has been helping me stay sane and motivated honestly.
And when you hit those tiny goals, celebrate them yes, even the small ones. I learnt this from a speaker in a seminar I attended he said ” even if it’s a small Fanta buy and celebrate that little thing” it has been a effective way to for once feel that relief and that peace from within.It’s how you remind yourself that you’re making progress, no matter how slow it feels.
3. Manage Your Time Wisely
Time can really fly when you’re a student classes, meetings, assignments, next thing you know, it’s midnight. My God, how that you start the semester today and what ?the timetable is already set. You keep asking yourself “where was I?” ” What, how ,when” What helps me is having a small plan or to-do list. I try to focus on what’s urgent and what’s important. But here’s the trick: don’t fill your entire day with “serious” stuff. Add your breaks, nap times, and even gist moments. Balance is key — you can’t be reading 24/7. Am telling you it drains,for me as little as calling my friend to gist relief me a whole lot.
4. Seek Support
” Every student deserves and needs a support system”
Please, don’t go through school alone. You can’t do life alone, no man is an Island of knowledge one way or the other you will need people. Talk to people your friends, seniors, lecturers, or anyone you trust.I understand there can be trust issues with people, but of course there will always be that one or two persons who is your anyday anytime person and you can always count on such individual. Voice out please don’t die in silence.Sometimes, for me it’s just need to say, “I’m tired,” and hear someone reply, “Me too, but we’ll be fine.” You’d be surprised how comforting it is to know you’re not the only one struggling. We all need people who understand.
5. Practice Stress Management
At some point I would just have genuine conversations with a particular friend of mine and she’s always like ” guy am tired” always tired
Why should you be always tired? It’s just about figuring it out to what works for you?
Find what calms you. For me, sometimes it’s just listening to music, journaling, or praying quietly or watching Korean dramas.For you, it might be taking a walk, deep breathing, or even dancing. Just find what works for you and make time for it. School will always be demanding, but you can choose peace in the middle of it all. Only with peace can you be effective.
Lastly as a matter of fact, don’t forget the place of God, the place of faith of staying true to your faith. I’m not here to preach religion, but honestly, God remains the surest bet. There are moments when everything feels too heavy, when you’re smiling on the outside but silently battling fears you can’t even explain, let alone share. In those times, I’ve found that leaning on God brings a kind of peace that no deadline or good grade can give. He’s always there steady, constant, and understanding, even when we don’t have the right words. So while you keep pushing, keep showing up, and doing your best, don’t forget to rest in Him too. Because truly, that’s where strength flows from. ” Cast your cares on God he indeed truly cares”
I’m still learning to cope too still figuring it out one day at a time. But if there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s that you don’t have to have it all together to be doing well. You just need to keep showing up, breathing, and believing that you’re doing your best because you are and definitely am getting there someday.