About 35% of women in Nigeria have experienced domestic violence.Take a moment to think about that. Statistics also records that femicide happens every 49 hours. Your sister, friend, auntie could be the next. Domestic violence is never just a family matter it is an outright crime.
This is not just statistics it reflects the reality of many homes in Nigeria and beyond.
What used to be seen as a “private matter” is now something we can no longer ignore. From daily abuse behind closed doors to tragic headlines of partners harming or even killing each other, domestic violence has become a serious issue in our society.
It is also important to understand that domestic violence is not limited to a particular gender, age, religion, or ethnic group. It cuts across all backgrounds, making it a problem that demands urgent and deliberate attention.
What is Domestic Violence?
Many people think domestic violence is only physical but it goes far beyond that. Domestic violence includes any pattern of behavior used to control, harm, or intimidate a partner. This means it can take different forms, such as: Physical abuse that takes a form of posing physical threat to the victim by way of use of physical objects to inflict injury on the victim.
2.Emotional and psychological abuse: The emotional part of the abuse is the trauma in the mind and health the victim has to live with. It is the height of domestic violence.
Others includes : Verbal abuse, Sexual abuse, and financial control and manipulation.
In many cases, there are no visible injuries, which is why it is often ignored or misunderstood. But the impact is just as serious.
Why is it So Common?
For a long time, domestic violence has been tolerated in many homes, largely due to the influence of patriarchy. In some situations, it is even seen as something to “endure” rather than challenge. However, this mindset is slowly changing with increased access to education and the influence of globalization, more people especially women are becoming aware of their rights and their value in society. This awareness is leading more victims to speak up and seek help.
Before moving on to what the Law provides on domestic violence I would like to chip in signs of an abusive partner. There are some evidential signs one is to watch out for either in their partners or intending partners. This signs includes:
1.They try to control everything : From what you wear to who you hang out with.
2.Jealousy all the time: They get mad when you talk to anyone, even friends.
3.They put you down with words :Constant insults, shouting, or making you feel small.
4.Physical aggression :Hitting, pushing, or any form of hurting you.
5.Playing with your mind :Gaslighting or making you doubt yourself.
6.Keeping you away from people: Friends, family, or anyone who could support you.
7.Money control : They decide what you can or cannot spend.
8.Mood swings that scare you :Extreme anger one minute, sweet apologies the next.
9.Blaming you for their behavior : They never admit they’re wrong.
What Does the Law Say?
Domestic violence is not just a family issue it is a legal issue like I have stated earlier it’s an outright crime.
In Nigeria, one of the key laws addressing this is the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act 2015 (VAPP Act). This law has made important progress in tackling different forms of abuse.
Under the VAPP Act:
i.Domestic violence is recognized as a criminal offence
ii.Victims are given legal protection
iii.The definition of rape has been expanded
iii.Victims’ rights are clearly recognized
This shows that the law does not support abuse in any form.
Limitations of the Law
As important as the VAPP Act is, it is not perfect. Like every other laws in Nigeria that are not without it’s limitations. One major limitation is that it mainly applies to the Federal Capital Territory. This means that unless other states adopt similar laws, many victims across Nigeria may not fully benefit from its provisions.
In addition, delays in the judicial system can make it difficult for victims to get justice on time.
There is also a need for stronger institutional support. The response of authorities, especially law enforcement, needs to improve. Beyond that, having a dedicated agency focused specifically on violence against women would make enforcement more effective.
Your Rights as a Victim
Now I would like to state this if you are experiencing domestic violence, you should know this or you know someone who’s a victim you can let them know :They are not powerless. They possess every right to:
1.Report the abuse: that’s the first step to get justice defeating silence and file for a report with the authorities.
2.Seek protection from the court
3.Access medical support: Many at times domestic violence leads to infliction of physical injuries I would advice a victim proceeds to a medical doctor for adequate medical attention. If it’s the emotional injury I know it can be hard to open and easily ignored but you should seek medical support too.
4.Live in safety and dignity: You have every right to stay in safety and your dignity to person is adequately preserved. Escape run for your life.
What Should You Do?
It is never enough to know your rights but taking action is even more important.
If you are in an abusive situation:
The very first thing is to speak up! silence only protects the abuser. Many people have died because they failed to speak up at the right time they feel by keeping it away from the world they are trying to protect themselves and families even the abuser at times. The sad thing is the abuser is not worth any of your protection you only strengthen him because he or she knows no one is coming for you. So please speak up.
2.Reach out to someone you trust: This is very important. Overtime victims of abuse fail to recognise trusted people around them and it gets worse. You should have a highly trusted family, friend, spiritual leader etc. Make sure it’s a person whom you can share with without the feeling guilty and one who’s not judgemental.
3.Keep evidence : All evidence in form of messages, injuries, threats should be well documented and kept to serve as leaving prove for your statement in the Court.
4.Report the abuse to the appropriate authorities and always seek legal support when necessary. The law is there for you.
And most importantly:
Do well to protect yourself and your children.At times, leaving an abusive environment is not easy, but staying in one can be far more dangerous( think about that).
Note very strictly that: It is not weakness to walk away. It is strength, It is survival, It is better to walk away alive than to remain in silence and danger.
In conclusion, Domestic violence thrives in silence, and the more it is ignored, the more it spreads. If you or someone you know is experiencing this, please do not ignore it. Speak up. Get help. Help someone else. You deserve safety, You deserve respect, You deserve better than what you possibly have today